Ouchies : Stuart Trio
by psychopersonified
Summary: Daltonverse. "That mouth of yours is going to get you killed one day".
1. Tackled

"What the hell happened to you?" Julian takes in the sight before him. Derek stands at his open doorway, covered in grass stains looking like something the cat dragged in.

"Fucking Bancroft! That's what happened! The asshole flying tackled me at practice!"

"But you're the captain..."

"I know! But you think that crazy asshole gives a fuck? ... He just flipped out all of a sudden in the middle of practice."

"You must have said something. Bancroft's got a pretty cool head. He doesn't flip out for no reason."

"I didn't say a word to him! The closest I came to him was when I clipped Willis at some point. I barely touched him and he went down crying like a baby. I just said he screams like his sister...among other things."

Pause.

"..Oooowwh..." Was Julian's knowing reply.

"Why? What 'oh'?" Derek demands.

"You didn't actually mean anything by that, did you?"

"If by that you mean, did I meant to insult him and his family lineage; then yes I did." At least Derek's honest about it. Julian quirks an eyebrow.

"It's football! I'm practically obligated to hurl insults. If i knew he had any pets, I'd insult them too. Jeez! I never knew Justin was such a den mother."

"No. I meant, you never actually made Sydney Willis 'scream' did you?" Julian says it slowly, like how you would to a child.

Derek blinks confused "...What? NO! I means she hot and all, but what guy would be insane enough to take her on?" Derek makes a face.

The look he gets from Julian is burdened with meaning. Like the actor is willing him to make the connection. Oh. OH!

"NOoo!" He gasps like a gossipy school girl.

"Yes." Julian confirms.

"Really?" Derek refuses to believe.

"Don't make me hit you with this." Julian threatens with the textbook on the table.

"Wow... This-.. I kinda feel sorry for the bugger now."

"Now you're being mean."

"If I was nice, I wouldn't have tackled Spencer now would I ?"

Then it drops. "...CRAP! Bancroft thinks I nailed his girl!"

Julian shakes his head.

"Uh...girl.. he is an ..active pursuant of..?" Derek guesses from the clues in Julian's expression. _Bingo_.

"Somebody give this boy a prize!" Julian announces to no one.

"I'm a dead man!" Derek cries, banging his head on the doorframe.

"Well now that we've determined that you've got mere hours to live, let's get you cleaned up. Head start for the funeral." No sympathy from the actor.

10 Minutes later...

"You've got nice hands." It's out of Derek's mouth before his filters can catch it. For the last few minutes, He's been watching those hands open the first aid kit, rummage for the box of bandaids, tear open the paper tabs; all mesmerisingly precise movements.

Julian freezes mid movement. He has a bandaid stretched between his hands, each end pinched in his long fingers. He's just about to stick it on the cut on Derek's lower rib where Justin's cleats contacted.

"D?" Julian ventures cautiously, not looking away from the cut.

"Sorry. Still in shock, no filters."

"That mouth of yours is going to get you killed one day."


	2. Caution

"Hurry up Lo! I want to grab a snack before the movie starts." Derek trots down the stairs of the carpark, hopping over the last few steps and ducking under a low overhead concrete beam.

"Yeah, yeah...coming," Logan's reply is distracted. A flash of yellow light reflected off the wall tells Derek the car is locked and the slowpoke is finally getting a move on. Ten seconds later and Logan has yet to appear at the top of the stairs.

"LOGAN!" The annoyed shout echoes though the carpark, jolting Logan out of his texting.

"Alright already!" He jogs the short distance to the stairs. "Jules is waiting at the lobby." Logan informs, phone still in hand as he descends the stairs.

"Oh, so NOW you're hurrying." Derek grouses, starting to turn heel.  
An audible 'thud' stops him and he watches his friend crumple to the ground clutching his head; spewing a stream of expletives.

"OWWOWWOWW! Fuckfuckfuckfuck!" by the time Logan removes his hand from his forehead to inspect the damage, there is a nice lump forming just below his hairline.

Derek took two seconds to recover from the initial shock before deciding that watching the whole thing unfold was just too funny. Like watching a wipeout clip live in slow-mo. He kept flitting between concern and mirth, not sure what the appropriate reaction should be. Resulting in his hilarious in its own right expression. Something between a sad frown and constipated look.

He manages to control his composure long enough to ask, "Are you alright? ... Anything come loose in there?" He couldn't resist the last bit.

"Who the fuck built this place?! Fucking hobbits?" Logan hisses, still clutching his smarting forehead. He's managed to pull himself into a sitting position on the last step but is rocking back and forth to distract himself from the pain.

"The bright black and yellow CAUTION strip not glaring enough for you?" This earned Derek a middle finger.

Before he can say anything else, Logan's phone rings. The blond, still incapacitated holds his phone out to Derek.

"Good evening, this is Mr Wright's phone. He is unable to come to the phone right now, can I take a message?" Derek answers the phone with a flourish and struggles to continue; snorting and giggling."...ok ok...yeah. You'll never guess what happened... Carpark...in a minute. His Lofty Highness needs a breather."

Not thirty seconds later, the heavy doors at the bottom of the stairs open. Julian is back lighted by the lights of the hallway.

"What's going on? We're going to miss the opening scene." Julian is clearly annoyed, bounding up the stairs two at a time. Derek leaning against the railing, renews his laughter, "His Majesty hit his head while texting." He points to the overhead beam wrapped in bold CAUTION letters and reflective paint.

"I swear I heard a hollow 'thunk'!"

"D! Quit teasing him. He's clearly in pain." Julian admonishes unconvincingly. Maybe the sputtering laughter did not help.

"Shut up! ...*groan*... Am I bleeding? God! ...I think I have a concussion. I'm getting a little dizzy... I might need to go to the ER." Her Majesty Drama Queen Logan makes an entrance in full regalia.

"And tell the doctor what?! You hit your head attempting to sext your boyfriend while walking?" Derek is beside himself, arms twisted around the railing desperately trying to keep himself upright.

Logan takes a break from moaning like tackled footballer fishing for a penalty and punches Derek in the back of his knee. If he wasn't already supporting most of his weight on the railing he would have ended up on the floor. As it were, Derek just slumped further down the rails; laughing hysterically.

Julian throws his arms up exasperated. He really did want to watch that movie. "Oh for heavens sake, let me see." He physically pries Logan's fingers away from his face.

There is a minor (if it could even be called that) abrasion just below the hairline above his left eye. The swelling however was a bit more interesting; size of a golf ball and furiously red. It's amazing that Julian could tell it was dark red even, considering Logan's whole face- nigh his whole complexion was akin to a boiled lobster . Flushed with pain and embarrassment no doubt.

Needles to say; while it was entirely involuntary, the short bark of laughter and subsequent silent shaking from Julian did not make Logan feel any better.


End file.
